Modesty in speech
"Beware of ever using impure expressions, for even if you have no bad intention, those who hear you may receive them differently."
"Impure words fall on a weak heart like oil on cloth, spreading all around, and may fill it with evil thoughts and defile it."
"Even if we intend no harm, the evil one did, and he is sure to use our lawless words as a weapon against the heart of someone."
"If any foolish person speaks to you in unbecoming language, show that your ears are offended, either by turning away from him, or by whatever means may be most discreet at the time.''
"A spirit of mockery is one of the worst imperfections of the mind, and displeases God greatly, so that He has often punished it most severely. Nothing is most hurtful to charity, and still more to devotion, than contempt and derision of our neighbour, and such is inevitably found in mockery."
"Our words are a faithful index to the state of our soul."
Saint Francis de Sales
#modesty #speech
"Beware of ever using impure expressions, for even if you have no bad intention, those who hear you may receive them differently."
"Impure words fall on a weak heart like oil on cloth, spreading all around, and may fill it with evil thoughts and defile it."
"Even if we intend no harm, the evil one did, and he is sure to use our lawless words as a weapon against the heart of someone."
"If any foolish person speaks to you in unbecoming language, show that your ears are offended, either by turning away from him, or by whatever means may be most discreet at the time.''
"A spirit of mockery is one of the worst imperfections of the mind, and displeases God greatly, so that He has often punished it most severely. Nothing is most hurtful to charity, and still more to devotion, than contempt and derision of our neighbour, and such is inevitably found in mockery."
"Our words are a faithful index to the state of our soul."
Saint Francis de Sales
#modesty #speech
Humility in Criticism
Unjust and bitter criticism is one of the marks of inveterate pride. The devil is the accuser of the brethren. Much that he urges against them is true, but this is no excuse. Much is false, and in this those who criticize rashly and uncharitably are sure to imitate their model. They fall unconsciously into false and rash judgments; and even where they were quite certain that they were right, they nevertheless often do serious wrong to those whom they criticize. If they were more humble, they would have a clearer and truer view of the characters and actions of those around them.
There is in the conversation of the proud an under-current of self-praise. They talk chiefly about themselves and what they have said and done, and in a tone of boastfulness more or less thinly veiled. The humble seem to forget themselves; they consider what is interesting to those to whom they talk, for God's sake they seek to please others rather than themselves. Try and cultivate this humility in conversation. It will make you loved by God and by men.
Yet how general is this habit of criticism! Many who are reputed good Catholics run down their neighbors with a freedom which shows how little they have imbibed of the spirit of the Church and of her saints. A saint is always most gentle in his judgments and words, and seeks to imitate his Master, when He said to the poor woman trembling at His feet: "Neither do I condemn thee." Ask yourself whether you are free from fault in this respect, and promise amendment.
🔗 Rev. R.F. Clarke S.J, Meditations on Humility
#humility #speech
Unjust and bitter criticism is one of the marks of inveterate pride. The devil is the accuser of the brethren. Much that he urges against them is true, but this is no excuse. Much is false, and in this those who criticize rashly and uncharitably are sure to imitate their model. They fall unconsciously into false and rash judgments; and even where they were quite certain that they were right, they nevertheless often do serious wrong to those whom they criticize. If they were more humble, they would have a clearer and truer view of the characters and actions of those around them.
There is in the conversation of the proud an under-current of self-praise. They talk chiefly about themselves and what they have said and done, and in a tone of boastfulness more or less thinly veiled. The humble seem to forget themselves; they consider what is interesting to those to whom they talk, for God's sake they seek to please others rather than themselves. Try and cultivate this humility in conversation. It will make you loved by God and by men.
Yet how general is this habit of criticism! Many who are reputed good Catholics run down their neighbors with a freedom which shows how little they have imbibed of the spirit of the Church and of her saints. A saint is always most gentle in his judgments and words, and seeks to imitate his Master, when He said to the poor woman trembling at His feet: "Neither do I condemn thee." Ask yourself whether you are free from fault in this respect, and promise amendment.
🔗 Rev. R.F. Clarke S.J, Meditations on Humility
#humility #speech
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Ecce Verbum
Meditations On Humility
Rev R F Clarke, S. J.
Humility is not only important to the welfare of our souls, but it is absolutely necessary in order to obtain grace from Almighty God. He resists the proud, and gives grace to the humble. Pride is an insuperable…
Rev R F Clarke, S. J.
Humility is not only important to the welfare of our souls, but it is absolutely necessary in order to obtain grace from Almighty God. He resists the proud, and gives grace to the humble. Pride is an insuperable…
Have a great horror for anything even remotely suggesting impurity. Far from allowing yourself to laugh and to make jokes about it, you must show that you do not find anything about the topic in any way amusing. Those who laugh about such things give proof that they live more according to the flesh than according to the spirit and that their hearts are thoroughly corrupt.
St. Jean-Baptiste de La Salle
If any man thinks himself to be religious, but can't control his tongue, he deceives his heart, his religion is vain.
James 1:26
#speech
St. Jean-Baptiste de La Salle
If any man thinks himself to be religious, but can't control his tongue, he deceives his heart, his religion is vain.
James 1:26
#speech
Temperance in speech
"Some say it is unreasonable to be courteous and gentle with a reckless person who insults you for no reason at all. I have made a pact with my tongue; not to speak when my heart is disturbed."
St. Francis de Sales
"It is the part of a reasonable man not only to curb his passions to prevent them from coming to light either in word or deed, but also to rule them in such a way that everything is done by reason, nothing on impulse."
St. Ignatius of Loyola
'No passion is worse than an uncontrolled tongue, because it is the mother of all the passions.'
St. Agathon
'Peter, having said a word, lamented it bitterly, because he forgot him who said: "I said, I will take heed in my ways lest I sin with my tongue." and the other who said: "A fall from a height to the ground is better than a slip with the tongue."'
St. John Climacus
#speech
"Some say it is unreasonable to be courteous and gentle with a reckless person who insults you for no reason at all. I have made a pact with my tongue; not to speak when my heart is disturbed."
St. Francis de Sales
"It is the part of a reasonable man not only to curb his passions to prevent them from coming to light either in word or deed, but also to rule them in such a way that everything is done by reason, nothing on impulse."
St. Ignatius of Loyola
'No passion is worse than an uncontrolled tongue, because it is the mother of all the passions.'
St. Agathon
'Peter, having said a word, lamented it bitterly, because he forgot him who said: "I said, I will take heed in my ways lest I sin with my tongue." and the other who said: "A fall from a height to the ground is better than a slip with the tongue."'
St. John Climacus
#speech
The rule of Praesupponendum
Saint Ignatius Loyola, Spiritual Exercises
Praesupponendum means "Presupposition of Charity", whereby a person assumes the best intentions behind another person's statements. It is the principle of kindness and understanding, also called the rule of agreement and dialogue.
The Instruction indicates the attitudes which should be adopted in Ignatian interpersonal communication. These are: listening directed towards the interlocutor, trust, respect for the diversity of others and telling the truth in the atmosphere of love. What is characteristic of Ignatian interpersonal communication is the mutual exchange, acceptance, understanding, careful consideration of what you want to say and above all trust and listening, which allow you to enter the space of the other person.
Saint Ignatius writes:
•"In order that we may help one another and act [in goodness], it should be presupposed that every good Christian ought to be more eager to put a good interpretation on a neighbor’s statement than to condemn it. Further, if he cannot interpret it favorably, one should ask how the other means it. If that meaning is wrong, one should correct the person with love; and if this is not enough, one should search out every appropriate means through which, by understanding the statement in a good way, it may be saved (SE 22).
•“Beware of condemning any man's action. Consider your neighbor's intention, which is often honest and innocent, even though his act seems bad in outward appearance.”
•"Be slow to speak, and only after having first listened quietly, so that you may understand the meaning, leanings, and wishes of those who do speak. Thus you will better know when to speak and when to be silent.”
This is what Saint Ignatius says about the behaviour of man in relation to others. For man, this 'rule' must be one of the fundamental ones in our way of speaking, discussing, dialoguing.
St. Ignatius advised his brothers to ‘govern using “all the love and modesty and charity possible.”
We must never forget that there are always two (or more persons) in a relation, and they have the same dignity and the same right to say what they think and to be understood. It is precisely here where the Ignatian rule ought to be applied. The great danger lies in the fact that each person remembers only about their own dignity and rights. They perceive the other person only through their own prism of thinking. Where tension or discord arise, we ought to strive to discern what the other person is actually arguing.
We are obliged to try to understand the motives that lead our brethren to their conclusions. We are to be characterised by an attitude of defending, protecting, caring for, helping the other. The purpose of the encounters between people is to help each other to come closer to God, so we should approach everyone with compassion and mercy.
Moreover, Ignatius foresaw the possibility in which the utterance of the other cannot be saved. In such a case, he invites us to ask how the person understands the topic in question. "If he understands it wrongly", "let us correct him with charity"- This instruction does not require us to naively and blindly accept error or animosity, but tells us that our first step ought to be one of compassion and understanding.
•“It is a great help to progress to possess a friend who is privileged to point to you your failings.”
We should also take into account the possibility of a mistake, a misunderstanding on the part of the other person, and also on our part - we need patience to listen with our full attention. How many times do we happen to misunderstand the other person?
•“The evil man is ready to suspect others, like a man attacked by giddiness who thinks that all things are whirling round him.”
Why should we apply the rule of Praesupponendum in our lives? To help each other on the way to Heaven - to speak well, to understand well, to communicate one's thoughts skilfully without imposing one's own will on the other, to correct charitably.
#stignatius #charity #speech
Saint Ignatius Loyola, Spiritual Exercises
Praesupponendum means "Presupposition of Charity", whereby a person assumes the best intentions behind another person's statements. It is the principle of kindness and understanding, also called the rule of agreement and dialogue.
The Instruction indicates the attitudes which should be adopted in Ignatian interpersonal communication. These are: listening directed towards the interlocutor, trust, respect for the diversity of others and telling the truth in the atmosphere of love. What is characteristic of Ignatian interpersonal communication is the mutual exchange, acceptance, understanding, careful consideration of what you want to say and above all trust and listening, which allow you to enter the space of the other person.
Saint Ignatius writes:
•"In order that we may help one another and act [in goodness], it should be presupposed that every good Christian ought to be more eager to put a good interpretation on a neighbor’s statement than to condemn it. Further, if he cannot interpret it favorably, one should ask how the other means it. If that meaning is wrong, one should correct the person with love; and if this is not enough, one should search out every appropriate means through which, by understanding the statement in a good way, it may be saved (SE 22).
•“Beware of condemning any man's action. Consider your neighbor's intention, which is often honest and innocent, even though his act seems bad in outward appearance.”
•"Be slow to speak, and only after having first listened quietly, so that you may understand the meaning, leanings, and wishes of those who do speak. Thus you will better know when to speak and when to be silent.”
This is what Saint Ignatius says about the behaviour of man in relation to others. For man, this 'rule' must be one of the fundamental ones in our way of speaking, discussing, dialoguing.
St. Ignatius advised his brothers to ‘govern using “all the love and modesty and charity possible.”
We must never forget that there are always two (or more persons) in a relation, and they have the same dignity and the same right to say what they think and to be understood. It is precisely here where the Ignatian rule ought to be applied. The great danger lies in the fact that each person remembers only about their own dignity and rights. They perceive the other person only through their own prism of thinking. Where tension or discord arise, we ought to strive to discern what the other person is actually arguing.
We are obliged to try to understand the motives that lead our brethren to their conclusions. We are to be characterised by an attitude of defending, protecting, caring for, helping the other. The purpose of the encounters between people is to help each other to come closer to God, so we should approach everyone with compassion and mercy.
Moreover, Ignatius foresaw the possibility in which the utterance of the other cannot be saved. In such a case, he invites us to ask how the person understands the topic in question. "If he understands it wrongly", "let us correct him with charity"- This instruction does not require us to naively and blindly accept error or animosity, but tells us that our first step ought to be one of compassion and understanding.
•“It is a great help to progress to possess a friend who is privileged to point to you your failings.”
We should also take into account the possibility of a mistake, a misunderstanding on the part of the other person, and also on our part - we need patience to listen with our full attention. How many times do we happen to misunderstand the other person?
•“The evil man is ready to suspect others, like a man attacked by giddiness who thinks that all things are whirling round him.”
Why should we apply the rule of Praesupponendum in our lives? To help each other on the way to Heaven - to speak well, to understand well, to communicate one's thoughts skilfully without imposing one's own will on the other, to correct charitably.
#stignatius #charity #speech
Ecce Verbum
The rule of Praesupponendum Saint Ignatius Loyola, Spiritual Exercises Praesupponendum means "Presupposition of Charity", whereby a person assumes the best intentions behind another person's statements. It is the principle of kindness and understanding,…
Ignatian conversation
St. Ignatius and the early Jesuits lived at a time of profound religious and political division. Disputes about religion could lead to imprisonment, banishment or death in the time of upheaval around the Reformation.
For Ignatius, the other person is a child of God and a person deserving respect and consideration, no matter what opinion the person holds or the history of the relationship with this person.This does not mean that one needs to sit and endure vile and hateful speech. But it does suggest that even if people express their thoughts imperfectly and inartfully, we should go easy on quick condemnations. Ignatius encourages calm and humility in presenting a position. When we engage each other positively, we see God working with us even as we struggle and disagree.
Ignatian conversations have these attributes
Be slow to speak
Listen attentively
Seek the truth in what others are saying
Disagree humbly and thoughtfully allow the conversation the time it needs
#speech
St. Ignatius and the early Jesuits lived at a time of profound religious and political division. Disputes about religion could lead to imprisonment, banishment or death in the time of upheaval around the Reformation.
For Ignatius, the other person is a child of God and a person deserving respect and consideration, no matter what opinion the person holds or the history of the relationship with this person.This does not mean that one needs to sit and endure vile and hateful speech. But it does suggest that even if people express their thoughts imperfectly and inartfully, we should go easy on quick condemnations. Ignatius encourages calm and humility in presenting a position. When we engage each other positively, we see God working with us even as we struggle and disagree.
Ignatian conversations have these attributes
Be slow to speak
Listen attentively
Seek the truth in what others are saying
Disagree humbly and thoughtfully allow the conversation the time it needs
#speech
Avoiding Idle Talk
Shun the gossip of men as much as possible, for discussion of worldly affairs, even though sincere, is a great distraction inasmuch as we are quickly ensnared and captivated by vanity.
Many a time I wish that I had held my peace and had not associated with men. Why, indeed, do we converse and gossip among ourselves when we so seldom part without a troubled conscience? We do so because we seek comfort from one another’s conversation and wish to ease the mind wearied by diverse thoughts. Hence, we talk and think quite fondly of things we like very much or of things we dislike intensely. But, sad to say, we often talk vainly and to no purpose; for this external pleasure effectively bars inward and divine consolation.
Therefore we must watch and pray lest time pass idly.
When the right and opportune moment comes for speaking, say something that will edify.
Bad habits and indifference to spiritual progress do much to remove the guard from the tongue. Devout conversation on spiritual matters, on the contrary, is a great aid to spiritual progress, especially when persons of the same mind and spirit associate together in God.
Thomas à Kempis,The Imitation of Christ, Book 1 Chapter 10
#speech
Shun the gossip of men as much as possible, for discussion of worldly affairs, even though sincere, is a great distraction inasmuch as we are quickly ensnared and captivated by vanity.
Many a time I wish that I had held my peace and had not associated with men. Why, indeed, do we converse and gossip among ourselves when we so seldom part without a troubled conscience? We do so because we seek comfort from one another’s conversation and wish to ease the mind wearied by diverse thoughts. Hence, we talk and think quite fondly of things we like very much or of things we dislike intensely. But, sad to say, we often talk vainly and to no purpose; for this external pleasure effectively bars inward and divine consolation.
Therefore we must watch and pray lest time pass idly.
When the right and opportune moment comes for speaking, say something that will edify.
Bad habits and indifference to spiritual progress do much to remove the guard from the tongue. Devout conversation on spiritual matters, on the contrary, is a great aid to spiritual progress, especially when persons of the same mind and spirit associate together in God.
Thomas à Kempis,The Imitation of Christ, Book 1 Chapter 10
#speech
Ecce Verbum
Decorum in speech St. Jean- Baptiste de la Salle taken from "The Rules of Christian Decorum and Civility" -You must avoid all useless and foolish questions, because they only give rise to disputes. -You ought not to argue because, as a servant of God you…
Decorum in speech
St. Jean- Baptiste de la Salle
taken from
"The rules of Christian Decorum and Civility"
Part II
-Enjoy witty, spirited repartee, which deals with something agreeable without wounding anyone or offering courtesy. Such fun is very innocent and can make a conversation much more interesting.
-Never insult another person. Such words must never be found on the lips of a Catholic, for they are extremely improper for anyone who has the least claim to being a well-educated person.
-Don't make fun of someone's natural and involuntary handicaps.
-Don't poke fun at someone because of a misfortune or a disgrace that has overtaken him.
-Do not show exteriorly that it bothers you when someone makes fun of you- it is a mark of refinement, as well as a sign of piety, not to let yourself be disturbed by what others say about you, however disagreeable, offensive or insulting it might be.
-When you are advised or reproved by another, receive the admonition graciously and show gratitude. The more gratitude you show, the more you will act like a true Catholic and the more highly you will be regarded.
-If it happens when someone insults you, say nothing at all, a Catholic ought not to show any resentment or even experience any.
-Do not scandalise anyone in any way and never speak ill of anyone.
-If you do not wish to say anything good about someone, you should say nothing.
-Do not report to people the tales that someone else has related about them.
-Don't call attention to the physical defect of anyone, this shows that you are mean and poorly brought up.
-Don't make comparisons between to whom you are speaking and someone else, so as to bring out some defect or misfortune that happened to that other person.
-Don't refer to obvious defects or blemishes on a persons face or ask how they got there.
-Don't remind someone of events in which he did not do well or to say things that can disturb or embarrass the person you are speaking to.
-Be very attentive to your words, so that you do not dishonor your soul.
-Be on guard against being too quick with your words.
-Don't reveal all that is on your mind, and in many things you must act as if you were ignorant.
-When you are with people older than you, or with the very elderly, tell little and listen a great deal.
-When someone has said or done something that is out of place and you notice that this person spoke without reflecting and is already aware of it and embarrassed when he thinks of himself and of what he said, you ought to pretend to have noticed nothing.
-Those who have nothing to relate except gossip and frivolous, silly stories, and those who affect introductions so long that no one else can speak, would do much better to keep quiet.
more:
•Ignatian rule of charity in conversation
•humility in conversation
#decorum #speech
St. Jean- Baptiste de la Salle
taken from
"The rules of Christian Decorum and Civility"
Part II
-Enjoy witty, spirited repartee, which deals with something agreeable without wounding anyone or offering courtesy. Such fun is very innocent and can make a conversation much more interesting.
-Never insult another person. Such words must never be found on the lips of a Catholic, for they are extremely improper for anyone who has the least claim to being a well-educated person.
-Don't make fun of someone's natural and involuntary handicaps.
-Don't poke fun at someone because of a misfortune or a disgrace that has overtaken him.
-Do not show exteriorly that it bothers you when someone makes fun of you- it is a mark of refinement, as well as a sign of piety, not to let yourself be disturbed by what others say about you, however disagreeable, offensive or insulting it might be.
-When you are advised or reproved by another, receive the admonition graciously and show gratitude. The more gratitude you show, the more you will act like a true Catholic and the more highly you will be regarded.
-If it happens when someone insults you, say nothing at all, a Catholic ought not to show any resentment or even experience any.
-Do not scandalise anyone in any way and never speak ill of anyone.
-If you do not wish to say anything good about someone, you should say nothing.
-Do not report to people the tales that someone else has related about them.
-Don't call attention to the physical defect of anyone, this shows that you are mean and poorly brought up.
-Don't make comparisons between to whom you are speaking and someone else, so as to bring out some defect or misfortune that happened to that other person.
-Don't refer to obvious defects or blemishes on a persons face or ask how they got there.
-Don't remind someone of events in which he did not do well or to say things that can disturb or embarrass the person you are speaking to.
-Be very attentive to your words, so that you do not dishonor your soul.
-Be on guard against being too quick with your words.
-Don't reveal all that is on your mind, and in many things you must act as if you were ignorant.
-When you are with people older than you, or with the very elderly, tell little and listen a great deal.
-When someone has said or done something that is out of place and you notice that this person spoke without reflecting and is already aware of it and embarrassed when he thinks of himself and of what he said, you ought to pretend to have noticed nothing.
-Those who have nothing to relate except gossip and frivolous, silly stories, and those who affect introductions so long that no one else can speak, would do much better to keep quiet.
more:
•Ignatian rule of charity in conversation
•humility in conversation
#decorum #speech
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Ecce Verbum
The Rules of Christian Decorum and Civility
John Baptist de La Salle
A book of decorum and civility.
One of the most significant symptoms of the crisis of the European conscience was the disappearance of the gentleman, the person of culture and refinement.It…
John Baptist de La Salle
A book of decorum and civility.
One of the most significant symptoms of the crisis of the European conscience was the disappearance of the gentleman, the person of culture and refinement.It…
Ecce Verbum
The rule of Praesupponendum Saint Ignatius Loyola, Spiritual Exercises Praesupponendum means "Presupposition of Charity", whereby a person assumes the best intentions behind another person's statements. It is the principle of kindness and understanding,…
A Guide to Better Online Discussion
St. Paul writes, "But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ." (Eph. 4:15)
Media technology used well obviously provides us with many conveniences and benefits. But the arrival of the internet and social media, and sensational forms of television, have also facilitated the spread of a public habit of speech and writing that is less personal and less gracious. It is often uncharitable, ugly, angry, combative, abusive, abrasive, hateful, base, uncivil, mean-spirited, malicious, and entirely useless for resolving disagreements or persuading anyone.
If a person is considering whether to voice an opinion on a public forum, and the issue is even possibly contentious, just the fear of verbal reprisal or orchestrated harassment or stalking can intimidate the person into silence. This public habit of mean-spirited speech tends to drive persons to withdraw into self-selected bubbles or safe spaces of virtual societies composed of like-minded people, and thus tends to increase polarization and social fragmentation. It also leads to a kind of despair regarding even the utility of reasoning and logical argumentation.
https://strangenotions.com/speaking-the-truth-in-the-beauty-of-love/
more:
decorum in speech
Ignatian rule of praesupponendum
#speech
St. Paul writes, "But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ." (Eph. 4:15)
Media technology used well obviously provides us with many conveniences and benefits. But the arrival of the internet and social media, and sensational forms of television, have also facilitated the spread of a public habit of speech and writing that is less personal and less gracious. It is often uncharitable, ugly, angry, combative, abusive, abrasive, hateful, base, uncivil, mean-spirited, malicious, and entirely useless for resolving disagreements or persuading anyone.
If a person is considering whether to voice an opinion on a public forum, and the issue is even possibly contentious, just the fear of verbal reprisal or orchestrated harassment or stalking can intimidate the person into silence. This public habit of mean-spirited speech tends to drive persons to withdraw into self-selected bubbles or safe spaces of virtual societies composed of like-minded people, and thus tends to increase polarization and social fragmentation. It also leads to a kind of despair regarding even the utility of reasoning and logical argumentation.
https://strangenotions.com/speaking-the-truth-in-the-beauty-of-love/
more:
decorum in speech
Ignatian rule of praesupponendum
#speech
Strange Notions
Speaking the Truth in the Beauty of Love: A Guide to Better Online Discussion
EDITOR'S NOTE: This talk was delivered by Dr. Bryan Cross, a Strange Notions contributor, at Franciscan University on July 29, 2017. Although the original audience was primarily Catholic, most of Dr. Cross' advice applies equally well to all readers at Strange…
Ecce Verbum
A Guide to Better Online Discussion St. Paul writes, "But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ." (Eph. 4:15) Media technology used well obviously provides us with many conveniences and benefits.…
Ad Hominem is a sin
But I say to you, that whosoever is angry with his brother, shall be in danger of the judgment. And whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca (worthless), shall be in danger of the council. And whosoever shall say, Thou Fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
(Matthew 5:22)
Ad Hominem is
-a sin against truth
-a sin against the rational nature and dignity of a human
-a sin of presumption
-a vice of wrath
"Accordingly, when dealing with other human beings, we must always appeal to their reason as far as we can, because to fail to do so would be contrary to what is good for them given their nature. Of course, sometimes this is not possible – for example, with a person who is literally insane, or with an attacker intent on inflicting bodily harm. But it obviously is possible with an opponent who himself makes an effort at rational engagement.
When, in response to such engagement, we resort to fallacious ad hominem rhetoric – when we ignore an opponent’s attempts to reason with us, when we respond to his arguments with mockery and contempt, when we try to shout him down and intimidate him into silence rather than persuading him – we treat him as something less than a rational animal, and therefore as less than human. We are acting contrary to his nature, contrary to his human dignity. This cannot fail to be sinful. And the more greatly it contributes to sowing discord within society or the Church, the more gravely sinful it is."
What is an ad hominem fallacy?
http://edwardfeser.blogspot.com/2013/04/what-is-ad-hominem-fallacy.html
The ad hominem fallacy is a sin
http://edwardfeser.blogspot.com/2018/07/the-ad-hominem-fallacy-is-sin.html?m=1
#speech
But I say to you, that whosoever is angry with his brother, shall be in danger of the judgment. And whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca (worthless), shall be in danger of the council. And whosoever shall say, Thou Fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
(Matthew 5:22)
Ad Hominem is
-a sin against truth
-a sin against the rational nature and dignity of a human
-a sin of presumption
-a vice of wrath
"Accordingly, when dealing with other human beings, we must always appeal to their reason as far as we can, because to fail to do so would be contrary to what is good for them given their nature. Of course, sometimes this is not possible – for example, with a person who is literally insane, or with an attacker intent on inflicting bodily harm. But it obviously is possible with an opponent who himself makes an effort at rational engagement.
When, in response to such engagement, we resort to fallacious ad hominem rhetoric – when we ignore an opponent’s attempts to reason with us, when we respond to his arguments with mockery and contempt, when we try to shout him down and intimidate him into silence rather than persuading him – we treat him as something less than a rational animal, and therefore as less than human. We are acting contrary to his nature, contrary to his human dignity. This cannot fail to be sinful. And the more greatly it contributes to sowing discord within society or the Church, the more gravely sinful it is."
What is an ad hominem fallacy?
http://edwardfeser.blogspot.com/2013/04/what-is-ad-hominem-fallacy.html
The ad hominem fallacy is a sin
http://edwardfeser.blogspot.com/2018/07/the-ad-hominem-fallacy-is-sin.html?m=1
#speech
Blogspot
What is an ad hominem fallacy?
As students of logic know, not every appeal to authority is a fallacious appeal to authority. A fallacy is committed only when the p...
Ecce Verbum
A Guide to Better Online Discussion St. Paul writes, "But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ." (Eph. 4:15) Media technology used well obviously provides us with many conveniences and benefits.…
The blessing of being refuted
*dialogue is a joint endeavour, constituted by two or more parties, who share or exchange views, to determine whether these are consistent. Socrates is emphatic throughout the dialogue that it is a communal endeavour with participants who search “in common”, towards a common good : truth
*Characteristic hallmarks of Socratic dialogue are: the importance of sharing, equality, reciprocity, friendship.
Excerpts
"Socrates, has surely noticed a distressing feature of many conversations: that the rival interlocutors often have trouble defining their terms so that they can teach and learn from each other. Instead, whenever they disagree on some point, and one accuses the other of speaking incorrectly or unclearly, they become bitterly angry, believing that the other argues from rivalry or envy, caring only for winning the argument and not discovering the truth."
"Indeed, Socrates says of himself: “[I am one of those people] who would be delighted to be refuted, if I say anything untrue, and who would be delighted to do the refuting, if someone else were to say something untrue.” “But their delight would be no less,” Socrates continues, “in being refuted than in refuting: for I consider [being refuted] a greater good [than refuting], precisely inasmuch as it is a greater good to be released oneself from the greatest evil than to release another.”
"For the opposite of a style of conversation that upholds the value of being refuted is one that strives to avoid being refuted at all costs. And therefore one that transforms honest and open inquiry for the sake of mutually beneficial moral truth into a contest for power and domination – a contest between rival interlocutors whom the very terms of debate have already rendered irreconcilable enemies."
Socrates on being refuted - full article
more:
Socrates and the ethics of conversation
#speech
*dialogue is a joint endeavour, constituted by two or more parties, who share or exchange views, to determine whether these are consistent. Socrates is emphatic throughout the dialogue that it is a communal endeavour with participants who search “in common”, towards a common good : truth
*Characteristic hallmarks of Socratic dialogue are: the importance of sharing, equality, reciprocity, friendship.
Excerpts
"Socrates, has surely noticed a distressing feature of many conversations: that the rival interlocutors often have trouble defining their terms so that they can teach and learn from each other. Instead, whenever they disagree on some point, and one accuses the other of speaking incorrectly or unclearly, they become bitterly angry, believing that the other argues from rivalry or envy, caring only for winning the argument and not discovering the truth."
"Indeed, Socrates says of himself: “[I am one of those people] who would be delighted to be refuted, if I say anything untrue, and who would be delighted to do the refuting, if someone else were to say something untrue.” “But their delight would be no less,” Socrates continues, “in being refuted than in refuting: for I consider [being refuted] a greater good [than refuting], precisely inasmuch as it is a greater good to be released oneself from the greatest evil than to release another.”
"For the opposite of a style of conversation that upholds the value of being refuted is one that strives to avoid being refuted at all costs. And therefore one that transforms honest and open inquiry for the sake of mutually beneficial moral truth into a contest for power and domination – a contest between rival interlocutors whom the very terms of debate have already rendered irreconcilable enemies."
Socrates on being refuted - full article
more:
Socrates and the ethics of conversation
#speech
Antigone
Socrates and the Ethics of Conversation
FRISBEE SHEFFIELD How to have a debate and, whatever the result, come out of it better.
Ecce Verbum
Decorum in speech St. Jean- Baptiste de la Salle taken from "The rules of Christian Decorum and Civility" Part II -Enjoy witty, spirited repartee, which deals with something agreeable without wounding anyone or offering courtesy. Such fun is very innocent…
Charity in conversation
St. Ambrose
Kind words are like honey: sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.
Proverbs 16:24
Speech is divided into two kinds: first as it is used in friendly conversation, and then in the treatment of the matters of faith and justice. In either case, we must take care that there is no irritation. Our language should be mild and quiet, and full of kindness and courtesy and free from insult.
Let there be no obstinate disputes in our familiar conversations, for they only bring up useless subjects, rather than supply anything useful. Let there be discussion without wrath, urbanity without bitterness, warning without sharpness, advice without giving offense. And, as in every action of our life we ought to heed to this, so that no overpowering impulse of our mind may ever shut out reason (let us always keep a place for counsel!), so, too, we should observe that rule in our language, so that neither wrath nor hatred should be aroused, and that we may not show any signs of our greed or sloth. And let our language especially be of this sort when we are speaking of the Holy Scriptures. For what should we talk about more often than of the best subject of conversation — its exhortation to watchfulness, its care for good instruction?
Let us have a reason for beginning, and let our end be within reasonable limits. For a speech that is wearisome only stirs up anger. But surely it is really indecent that when every kind of conversation generally gives additional pleasure, this should give cause of offense!
On the Duties of Clergy, Book One, Chapter 22, Sections 99 – 100
#speech
St. Ambrose
Kind words are like honey: sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.
Proverbs 16:24
Speech is divided into two kinds: first as it is used in friendly conversation, and then in the treatment of the matters of faith and justice. In either case, we must take care that there is no irritation. Our language should be mild and quiet, and full of kindness and courtesy and free from insult.
Let there be no obstinate disputes in our familiar conversations, for they only bring up useless subjects, rather than supply anything useful. Let there be discussion without wrath, urbanity without bitterness, warning without sharpness, advice without giving offense. And, as in every action of our life we ought to heed to this, so that no overpowering impulse of our mind may ever shut out reason (let us always keep a place for counsel!), so, too, we should observe that rule in our language, so that neither wrath nor hatred should be aroused, and that we may not show any signs of our greed or sloth. And let our language especially be of this sort when we are speaking of the Holy Scriptures. For what should we talk about more often than of the best subject of conversation — its exhortation to watchfulness, its care for good instruction?
Let us have a reason for beginning, and let our end be within reasonable limits. For a speech that is wearisome only stirs up anger. But surely it is really indecent that when every kind of conversation generally gives additional pleasure, this should give cause of offense!
On the Duties of Clergy, Book One, Chapter 22, Sections 99 – 100
#speech
www.newadvent.org
CHURCH FATHERS: On the Duties of the Clergy, Book I (Ambrose)
Featuring the Church Fathers, Catholic Encyclopedia, Summa Theologica and more.
Ecce Verbum
An analogy between eating well and learning well "Then we should be careful to provide this wholesome food in proper amount. Mental gluttony, or over-reading, is a dangerous propensity, tending to weakness of digestive power, and in some cases to loss of…
Rule for correspondence that has, unfortunately, become controversial
•Don’t repeat yourself
When once you have had your say fully and clearly on a certain point, and have failed to convince your friend, drop that subject. To repeat your arguments all over again, will simply lead to his doing the same, and so you will go on like a circulating decimal. Did you ever know a circulating decimal come to an end?’
• ‘If your friend makes a severe remark, either leave it unnoticed, or make your reply distinctly less severe; and if he makes a friendly remark, tending towards making up the little difference that has arisen between you, let your reply be distinctly more friendly.
‘If, in picking a quarrel, each party declined to go more than three-eighths of the way, and if in making friends, each was ready to go five-eighths of the way—why, there would be more reconciliations than quarrels! Which is like the Irishman’s remonstrance to his gad-about daughter: “Shure, you’re always goin’ out! You go out three times for wanst that you come in!”’
• ‘Don’t try to get the last word.... (N.B.—If you are a gentleman and your friend a lady, this rule is superfluous: You won’t get the last word!)’
Let the last word to-day be part of another rule, which gives a glimpse into that gentle heart:
• ‘When you have written a letter that you feel may possibly irritate your friend, however necessary you may have felt it to so express yourself, put it aside till the next day. Then read it over again, and fancy it addressed to yourself. This will often lead to your writing it all over again, taking out a lot of the vinegar and pepper and putting in honey instead, and thus making a much more palatable dish of it!’
source: William H. Draper, Prefatory note to "Feeding the Mind" by Lewis Carroll
#speech
•Don’t repeat yourself
When once you have had your say fully and clearly on a certain point, and have failed to convince your friend, drop that subject. To repeat your arguments all over again, will simply lead to his doing the same, and so you will go on like a circulating decimal. Did you ever know a circulating decimal come to an end?’
• ‘If your friend makes a severe remark, either leave it unnoticed, or make your reply distinctly less severe; and if he makes a friendly remark, tending towards making up the little difference that has arisen between you, let your reply be distinctly more friendly.
‘If, in picking a quarrel, each party declined to go more than three-eighths of the way, and if in making friends, each was ready to go five-eighths of the way—why, there would be more reconciliations than quarrels! Which is like the Irishman’s remonstrance to his gad-about daughter: “Shure, you’re always goin’ out! You go out three times for wanst that you come in!”’
• ‘Don’t try to get the last word.... (N.B.—If you are a gentleman and your friend a lady, this rule is superfluous: You won’t get the last word!)’
Let the last word to-day be part of another rule, which gives a glimpse into that gentle heart:
• ‘When you have written a letter that you feel may possibly irritate your friend, however necessary you may have felt it to so express yourself, put it aside till the next day. Then read it over again, and fancy it addressed to yourself. This will often lead to your writing it all over again, taking out a lot of the vinegar and pepper and putting in honey instead, and thus making a much more palatable dish of it!’
source: William H. Draper, Prefatory note to "Feeding the Mind" by Lewis Carroll
#speech
Ecce Verbum
Against slanderous talk; How to respond to humiliation p.II * Do not be angered "But I say to you, Love your enemies: do good to them that hate you: and pray for them that persecute and calumniate you" Matthew 5:44 "Indeed, anger is a natural emotion but…
Against slanderous talk p.III
John Climacus, The Ladder of Divine Ascent, ch10 “On slander or calumny"
"I have heard people slandering, and I have rebuked them. And these doers of evil replied in self-defence that they were doing so out of love and care for the person whom they were slandering.
I said to them: ‘Stop that kind of love, otherwise you will be condemning as a liar him who said: “Him who secretly slanders his neighbour, him I drove away” (Psalm 100:5).
If you say you love, then pray secretly, and do not mock the man. For this is the kind of love that is acceptable to the Lord.
But I will not hide this from you (and of course think about it, and do not judge the offender): Judas was in the company of Christ’s disciples, and the Robber was in the company of murderers. And what a reversal when the crisis came!’
He who wants to overcome the spirit of slander, should not ascribe the blame to the person who falls, but to the demon who suggests it. For no one really wants to sin against God, even though we do all sin without being forced to do so.
I have known a man who sinned openly and repented secretly. I condemned him as a profligate, but he was chaste before God, having propitiated Him by a genuine conversion.
Do not regard the feelings of a person who speaks to you about his neighbour disparagingly, but rather say to him: ‘Stop, brother! I fall into graver sins every day, so how can I criticize him?’
In this way you will achieve two things: you will heal yourself and your neighbour with one plaster. This is one of the shortest ways to the forgiveness of sins; I mean, not to judge. ‘Judge not, that you be not judged’ (Luke 6:37).
Fire and water are incompatible; and so is judging others in one who wants to repent. If you see someone falling into sin at the very moment of his death, even then do not judge him, because the Divine judgment is hidden from men.Some have fallen openly into great sins, but they have done greater good deeds in secret; so their critics were tricked, getting smoke instead of the sun.
Hasty and severe judges of the sins of their neighbour fall into this predicament because they have not yet attained to a thorough and constant remembrance and concern for their own sins. For if anyone could see his own vices accurately without the veil of self-love, he would worry about nothing else in this life, considering that he would not have time enough for mourning for himself even though he were to live a hundred years, and even though he were to see a whole river Jordan of tears streaming from his eyes. I have observed that mourning, and I did not find in it even a trace of calumny or criticism.
The demons, murderers as they are, push us into sin. Or if they fail to do this, they get us to pass judgment on those who are sinning, so that they may smear us with the stain which we our selves are condemning in another.
This is one of the marks by which we can recognize malicious and slanderous people: they are plunged in the spirit of hatred, and with pleasure and without a qualm they slander the teaching or affairs or achievements of their neighbour.
To judge others is a shameless arrogation of the Divine prerogative; to condemn is the ruin of one’s soul.
Self-esteem without any other passion can ruin a man, and in the same way, if we have formed the habit of judging, we can be utterly ruined by this alone, for indeed the Pharisee was condemned for this very thing.
A good grape-picker, who eats the ripe grapes, will not start gathering unripe ones. A charitable and sensible mind takes careful note of whatever virtues it sees in anyone. But a fool looks for faults and defects. And of such it is said: ‘They have searched out iniquity and expired in the search.’
Do not condemn, even if you see with your eyes, for they are often deceived."
p.II
#speech
John Climacus, The Ladder of Divine Ascent, ch10 “On slander or calumny"
"I have heard people slandering, and I have rebuked them. And these doers of evil replied in self-defence that they were doing so out of love and care for the person whom they were slandering.
I said to them: ‘Stop that kind of love, otherwise you will be condemning as a liar him who said: “Him who secretly slanders his neighbour, him I drove away” (Psalm 100:5).
If you say you love, then pray secretly, and do not mock the man. For this is the kind of love that is acceptable to the Lord.
But I will not hide this from you (and of course think about it, and do not judge the offender): Judas was in the company of Christ’s disciples, and the Robber was in the company of murderers. And what a reversal when the crisis came!’
He who wants to overcome the spirit of slander, should not ascribe the blame to the person who falls, but to the demon who suggests it. For no one really wants to sin against God, even though we do all sin without being forced to do so.
I have known a man who sinned openly and repented secretly. I condemned him as a profligate, but he was chaste before God, having propitiated Him by a genuine conversion.
Do not regard the feelings of a person who speaks to you about his neighbour disparagingly, but rather say to him: ‘Stop, brother! I fall into graver sins every day, so how can I criticize him?’
In this way you will achieve two things: you will heal yourself and your neighbour with one plaster. This is one of the shortest ways to the forgiveness of sins; I mean, not to judge. ‘Judge not, that you be not judged’ (Luke 6:37).
Fire and water are incompatible; and so is judging others in one who wants to repent. If you see someone falling into sin at the very moment of his death, even then do not judge him, because the Divine judgment is hidden from men.Some have fallen openly into great sins, but they have done greater good deeds in secret; so their critics were tricked, getting smoke instead of the sun.
Hasty and severe judges of the sins of their neighbour fall into this predicament because they have not yet attained to a thorough and constant remembrance and concern for their own sins. For if anyone could see his own vices accurately without the veil of self-love, he would worry about nothing else in this life, considering that he would not have time enough for mourning for himself even though he were to live a hundred years, and even though he were to see a whole river Jordan of tears streaming from his eyes. I have observed that mourning, and I did not find in it even a trace of calumny or criticism.
The demons, murderers as they are, push us into sin. Or if they fail to do this, they get us to pass judgment on those who are sinning, so that they may smear us with the stain which we our selves are condemning in another.
This is one of the marks by which we can recognize malicious and slanderous people: they are plunged in the spirit of hatred, and with pleasure and without a qualm they slander the teaching or affairs or achievements of their neighbour.
To judge others is a shameless arrogation of the Divine prerogative; to condemn is the ruin of one’s soul.
Self-esteem without any other passion can ruin a man, and in the same way, if we have formed the habit of judging, we can be utterly ruined by this alone, for indeed the Pharisee was condemned for this very thing.
A good grape-picker, who eats the ripe grapes, will not start gathering unripe ones. A charitable and sensible mind takes careful note of whatever virtues it sees in anyone. But a fool looks for faults and defects. And of such it is said: ‘They have searched out iniquity and expired in the search.’
Do not condemn, even if you see with your eyes, for they are often deceived."
p.II
#speech
Internet Archive
The ladder of divine ascent : John, Climacus, Saint, active 6th century, author : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet…
270 pages : 21 cm
Ecce Verbum
Charity in conversation St. Ambrose Kind words are like honey: sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. Proverbs 16:24 Speech is divided into two kinds: first as it is used in friendly conversation, and then in the treatment of the matters of faith and…
The wisdom of silence
"..I do not think that we are far wrong in saying that, on the whole, men are not too appreciative of the virtue of silence. Most of our conversation has no more merit or effect than to stir the air around us. We could all say so very much less without any fear of the world's becoming worse. In fact, if we practice with greater fidelity the virtue of the closed mouth, the world would probably be the better for it.
Not only that, but God alone knows all the grief we have caused ourselves by the imprudence and over-indulgence of our tongues. Many were the times when we felt like kicking ourselves halfway around the block for having said something we felt as if we would have given our right arms to have some of our spoken words revoked. No doubt about it, silence is good sense for everybody. Too bad we can't love it more!
'Silence braces the sinews of the soul'; it reinforces the powers of the mind. This is why it is so widely practiced in all religious communities. But, of course, it is not always easy. All it required was a little time for us to realize the wisdom of the closed mouth. We finally took St. James at his word when he said, 'If any man sin not with his tongue, the same is a perfect man.'"
"Noise and talk have not made us less human, but they have made us less wise. Because of it, we have sometimes crippled the growth of our culture and impeded the development of our knowledge."
"After years of seasoning we would come to see the reason for it all. We would find that through silence we could begin to live in a world that would not be laid open to the penetrating wheeze of high pitched voices or the gruff cursings of the basso profundos. We would come to appreciate silence for the splendid opportunity it would give us to see all things in their true light. We would aways be grateful for the lesson it would teach us - that the less we say, the more effect and weight out words will carry when we do speak. And we would come to accept silence not as a form of capital punishment (as some would) but as a reprieve from the overpowering pressure of ordinary living. In silence we would find rest, not boredom. And what is more, we would actually come to enjoy it."
Men in Sandals by Fr. Richard Madden, ocd 🔗
#speech
"..I do not think that we are far wrong in saying that, on the whole, men are not too appreciative of the virtue of silence. Most of our conversation has no more merit or effect than to stir the air around us. We could all say so very much less without any fear of the world's becoming worse. In fact, if we practice with greater fidelity the virtue of the closed mouth, the world would probably be the better for it.
Not only that, but God alone knows all the grief we have caused ourselves by the imprudence and over-indulgence of our tongues. Many were the times when we felt like kicking ourselves halfway around the block for having said something we felt as if we would have given our right arms to have some of our spoken words revoked. No doubt about it, silence is good sense for everybody. Too bad we can't love it more!
'Silence braces the sinews of the soul'; it reinforces the powers of the mind. This is why it is so widely practiced in all religious communities. But, of course, it is not always easy. All it required was a little time for us to realize the wisdom of the closed mouth. We finally took St. James at his word when he said, 'If any man sin not with his tongue, the same is a perfect man.'"
"Noise and talk have not made us less human, but they have made us less wise. Because of it, we have sometimes crippled the growth of our culture and impeded the development of our knowledge."
"After years of seasoning we would come to see the reason for it all. We would find that through silence we could begin to live in a world that would not be laid open to the penetrating wheeze of high pitched voices or the gruff cursings of the basso profundos. We would come to appreciate silence for the splendid opportunity it would give us to see all things in their true light. We would aways be grateful for the lesson it would teach us - that the less we say, the more effect and weight out words will carry when we do speak. And we would come to accept silence not as a form of capital punishment (as some would) but as a reprieve from the overpowering pressure of ordinary living. In silence we would find rest, not boredom. And what is more, we would actually come to enjoy it."
Men in Sandals by Fr. Richard Madden, ocd 🔗
#speech
Ecce Verbum
St. Basil and correctio fraterna "Be strict without anger or flaccidity. When reprimanding someone for negligence, we have to be careful to do it in the appropriate measure, keeping in mind God’s ways. A criminal uses a knife to cut members out of the body…
On kindness 🧵
1.The Necessity of Kind Listening
“Many persons whose manners will stand the test of speaking, break down under the trial of listening. But all these things ought to be brought under the sweet influences of religion. Kind listening is often an act of the most delicate interior mortification, and is a great assistance towards kind speaking.” Moreover, “those who govern others must take care to be kind listeners, or else they will soon offend God and fall into secret sins.”
“Weak and full of wants as we are ourselves, we must make up our minds, or rather take heart, to do some little good to this poor world while we are in it. Kind words are our chief implements for this work. A kind-worded man is a genial man; and geniality is power. Nothing sets wrong right so soon as geniality. There are a thousand things to be reformed, and no reform succeeds unless it be genial. No one was ever corrected by a sarcasm, crushed, perhaps, if the sarcasm was clever enough, but drawn nearer to God, never.”
“Men want to advocate changes, it may be in politics, or in science, or in philosophy, or in literature, or perhaps in the working of the Church. They give lectures, they write books, they start reviews, they found schools to propagate their views, they coalesce in associations, they collect money, they move reforms in public meetings, and all to further their peculiar ideas. They are unsuccessful. From being unsuccessful themselves, they become unsympathetic with others. From this comes narrowness of mind; their very talents are deteriorated. The next step is to be snappish, then bitter, then eccentric, then rude, after that they abuse people for not taking their advice; and, last of all, their impotence, like that of all angry prophets, ends in the shrillness of a scream..Without geniality no solid reform was ever made yet.. Nothing can be done for God without geniality. More plans fail for want of that than for the want of anything else. A genial man is both an apostle and an evangelist—an apostle because he brings men to Christ; an evangelist because he portrays Christ to men.”
“The more humble we are, the more kindly we shall talk; the more kindly we talk, the more humble we shall grow. An air of superiority is foreign to the genius of kindness.”
🔗 Frederick William Faber, Kindness (London: R. & T. Washbourne, 1901).
2. The effects of kind actions 🔗
3. The effects of kind words 🔗
3.1 The effects of kind words 2 🔗
4. Judging others 🔗
5. Thoughts 🔗
6. Kindness makes life more bearable 🔗
7. Suffering well
#speech #charity
1.The Necessity of Kind Listening
“Many persons whose manners will stand the test of speaking, break down under the trial of listening. But all these things ought to be brought under the sweet influences of religion. Kind listening is often an act of the most delicate interior mortification, and is a great assistance towards kind speaking.” Moreover, “those who govern others must take care to be kind listeners, or else they will soon offend God and fall into secret sins.”
“Weak and full of wants as we are ourselves, we must make up our minds, or rather take heart, to do some little good to this poor world while we are in it. Kind words are our chief implements for this work. A kind-worded man is a genial man; and geniality is power. Nothing sets wrong right so soon as geniality. There are a thousand things to be reformed, and no reform succeeds unless it be genial. No one was ever corrected by a sarcasm, crushed, perhaps, if the sarcasm was clever enough, but drawn nearer to God, never.”
“Men want to advocate changes, it may be in politics, or in science, or in philosophy, or in literature, or perhaps in the working of the Church. They give lectures, they write books, they start reviews, they found schools to propagate their views, they coalesce in associations, they collect money, they move reforms in public meetings, and all to further their peculiar ideas. They are unsuccessful. From being unsuccessful themselves, they become unsympathetic with others. From this comes narrowness of mind; their very talents are deteriorated. The next step is to be snappish, then bitter, then eccentric, then rude, after that they abuse people for not taking their advice; and, last of all, their impotence, like that of all angry prophets, ends in the shrillness of a scream..Without geniality no solid reform was ever made yet.. Nothing can be done for God without geniality. More plans fail for want of that than for the want of anything else. A genial man is both an apostle and an evangelist—an apostle because he brings men to Christ; an evangelist because he portrays Christ to men.”
“The more humble we are, the more kindly we shall talk; the more kindly we talk, the more humble we shall grow. An air of superiority is foreign to the genius of kindness.”
🔗 Frederick William Faber, Kindness (London: R. & T. Washbourne, 1901).
2. The effects of kind actions 🔗
3. The effects of kind words 🔗
3.1 The effects of kind words 2 🔗
4. Judging others 🔗
5. Thoughts 🔗
6. Kindness makes life more bearable 🔗
7. Suffering well
#speech #charity
Internet Archive
Kindness : Father Frederick William Faber : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive
Father Faber discusses the nature of true kindness, and how to live a kinder life.
Ecce Verbum
Humility corrects false religiosity In Introduction to the Devout Life, St Francis De Sales warns of a kind of false religiosity that can convince both others and ourselves that we’re right with God, when we’re not. Specifically, he warned of our tendency…
All the good that is in us comes from God - On the words of prideful men
"Humility is charitable, interpreting all things for the best and pitying and excusing the faults of others as much as possible. For this reason St. Peter, wishing to exhort us to love and have compassion upon our fellow-creatures, also exhorts us at the same time to be humble: "Having compassion one of another, being lovers of the brotherhood-----humble," [1 Pet. iii, 8] for there can be no charity without humility, and therefore to censure and criticize too readily the actions of our neighbors and to judge and speak ill of them are vices which are directly opposed to the virtue of humility. Who has given me the power to judge my brethren? When I thus constitute myself their judge and in the tribunal of my thoughts condemn first one and then another, I am usurping an authority I do not possess and which belongs to God alone: "For God is Judge." [Ps. xlix, 6]
And if this is not pride, what is pride? In punishment of such arrogance God often permits us to fall into the very faults that we have condemned in others, and it is well for us to remember the teaching of St. Paul: "Wherefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest. For wherein thou judgest another thou condemnest thyself." [Rom. ii, 1] There is always some pharisaical pride in the heart of him who judges and speaks evil of others, because in belittling others he exalts himself. It is in vain that we try hard cover our evil-speaking under ,the veil of some good motive; it must always be the result of pride which is quick to find out the weaknesses of others while remaining blind to its own.
If we are guilty of pride let us try and amend and not flatter ourselves that we possess the smallest degree of humility, until by our good resolutions carefully carried out we have mortified our evil tendency to speak ill of our neighbor. Let us hearken to the Holy Ghost: "Where pride is there also shall be reproach, but where humility is there also is wisdom." [Prov. xi, 2]
The proud man is scornful and arrogant in his speech; and the humble alone knows how to speak well and wisely. If there is humility in the heart it will be manifested in the speech, because "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good." [Luke vi, 45]
What good qualities have we of our own for which we can praise ourselves? All the good that is in us comes from God, and to Him alone we must give praise and honor. When, therefore, we praise ourselves we are usurping glory which is due to God alone. Even though in praising ourselves we sometimes refer all to the honor of God, it matters little; when there is no absolute necessity it is better to abstain from self-praise, for although we refer all to the glory of God with our lips, our ingenious and subtle self-love cannot fail to appropriate it secretly. And even speaking depreciatingly of ourselves there may lurk some hypocritical pride in our words, such as was mentioned by the sage of old when he said: "There is one that humbleth himself wickedly, and his interior is full of deceit." [Ecclus xix, 23]
Therefore we can never watch over ourselves enough, because there is nothing that teaches us so well to know the pride of our heart as our words, with which we either reveal or hide the depravity of our affections. And this is the characteristic of the proud, according to St. Bernard: "One who boastfully proclaims what he is, or lies about what he is not." [Epist. lxxxvii]
Let us bear in heart and mind this precious advice given by Tobias to his son: "Never suffer pride to reign in thy mind or in thy words." [Tob. iv, 14] The words of a proud man are nauseous, whether he speaks of himself or others, and they are hated both by God and man: therefore we should detest this vice, not only from the Christian but also from the human standpoint."
Humility of Heart by Fr Cajetan Mary da Bergamo 🔗
#humility #speech
"Humility is charitable, interpreting all things for the best and pitying and excusing the faults of others as much as possible. For this reason St. Peter, wishing to exhort us to love and have compassion upon our fellow-creatures, also exhorts us at the same time to be humble: "Having compassion one of another, being lovers of the brotherhood-----humble," [1 Pet. iii, 8] for there can be no charity without humility, and therefore to censure and criticize too readily the actions of our neighbors and to judge and speak ill of them are vices which are directly opposed to the virtue of humility. Who has given me the power to judge my brethren? When I thus constitute myself their judge and in the tribunal of my thoughts condemn first one and then another, I am usurping an authority I do not possess and which belongs to God alone: "For God is Judge." [Ps. xlix, 6]
And if this is not pride, what is pride? In punishment of such arrogance God often permits us to fall into the very faults that we have condemned in others, and it is well for us to remember the teaching of St. Paul: "Wherefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest. For wherein thou judgest another thou condemnest thyself." [Rom. ii, 1] There is always some pharisaical pride in the heart of him who judges and speaks evil of others, because in belittling others he exalts himself. It is in vain that we try hard cover our evil-speaking under ,the veil of some good motive; it must always be the result of pride which is quick to find out the weaknesses of others while remaining blind to its own.
If we are guilty of pride let us try and amend and not flatter ourselves that we possess the smallest degree of humility, until by our good resolutions carefully carried out we have mortified our evil tendency to speak ill of our neighbor. Let us hearken to the Holy Ghost: "Where pride is there also shall be reproach, but where humility is there also is wisdom." [Prov. xi, 2]
The proud man is scornful and arrogant in his speech; and the humble alone knows how to speak well and wisely. If there is humility in the heart it will be manifested in the speech, because "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good." [Luke vi, 45]
What good qualities have we of our own for which we can praise ourselves? All the good that is in us comes from God, and to Him alone we must give praise and honor. When, therefore, we praise ourselves we are usurping glory which is due to God alone. Even though in praising ourselves we sometimes refer all to the honor of God, it matters little; when there is no absolute necessity it is better to abstain from self-praise, for although we refer all to the glory of God with our lips, our ingenious and subtle self-love cannot fail to appropriate it secretly. And even speaking depreciatingly of ourselves there may lurk some hypocritical pride in our words, such as was mentioned by the sage of old when he said: "There is one that humbleth himself wickedly, and his interior is full of deceit." [Ecclus xix, 23]
Therefore we can never watch over ourselves enough, because there is nothing that teaches us so well to know the pride of our heart as our words, with which we either reveal or hide the depravity of our affections. And this is the characteristic of the proud, according to St. Bernard: "One who boastfully proclaims what he is, or lies about what he is not." [Epist. lxxxvii]
Let us bear in heart and mind this precious advice given by Tobias to his son: "Never suffer pride to reign in thy mind or in thy words." [Tob. iv, 14] The words of a proud man are nauseous, whether he speaks of himself or others, and they are hated both by God and man: therefore we should detest this vice, not only from the Christian but also from the human standpoint."
Humility of Heart by Fr Cajetan Mary da Bergamo 🔗
#humility #speech
Ecce Verbum
Humility in Criticism Unjust and bitter criticism is one of the marks of inveterate pride. The devil is the accuser of the brethren. Much that he urges against them is true, but this is no excuse. Much is false, and in this those who criticize rashly and…
Calumny and Detraction
Both calumny and detraction unjustly damage a person’s reputation by revealing a fault. The calumniator knows the accusation to be false, whereas the detractor believes it to be true. Here is what four Franciscan saints have to say about detraction:
St. Francis of Assisi : “The sin of detraction is the impediment to the very source of piety and grace; it is abominable in the sight of God, because the detractor feeds on the blood of the souls which he has murdered with the sword of his tongue.” He argues that “the malice of the detractor is far greater than that of the thief, because the law of Christ, which is fulfilled by showing mercy, commands us to desire more ardently the salvation of the soul than the safety of the body.” He further states: “The tongue is the instrument of life and death to man, not on account of the food it takes, but on account of the words it utters.”
St. Leonard of Port Maurice gives this advice on dealing with detractors: “Detraction is the poison of conversation. Never let any one who is given to this fault meet with any applause or approbation from you. On the contrary, do what you can to justify your neighbour, or else show your displeasure by a significant silence, or by turning the conversation, where this is practicable.”
St. Francis exhorts us: “Be modest, showing kindness to all, never judging or condemning anybody. And, as our Lord says, let us not pay attention to the small sins of others, but rather ponder on our own in the bitterness of our hearts.”
St. Bonaventure adds: “Beware of ever repeating what you have heard of others, unless it be something very edifying.”
Finally, St. Antony of Padua offers this advice: “Use your ears oftener than your tongue. One often repents of having spoken, and scarcely ever of having been silent.”
source of quotes: Flowers from the Garden of Saint Francis for Every Day of the Year (London: Burns and Oates, 1882).
#speech
Both calumny and detraction unjustly damage a person’s reputation by revealing a fault. The calumniator knows the accusation to be false, whereas the detractor believes it to be true. Here is what four Franciscan saints have to say about detraction:
St. Francis of Assisi : “The sin of detraction is the impediment to the very source of piety and grace; it is abominable in the sight of God, because the detractor feeds on the blood of the souls which he has murdered with the sword of his tongue.” He argues that “the malice of the detractor is far greater than that of the thief, because the law of Christ, which is fulfilled by showing mercy, commands us to desire more ardently the salvation of the soul than the safety of the body.” He further states: “The tongue is the instrument of life and death to man, not on account of the food it takes, but on account of the words it utters.”
St. Leonard of Port Maurice gives this advice on dealing with detractors: “Detraction is the poison of conversation. Never let any one who is given to this fault meet with any applause or approbation from you. On the contrary, do what you can to justify your neighbour, or else show your displeasure by a significant silence, or by turning the conversation, where this is practicable.”
St. Francis exhorts us: “Be modest, showing kindness to all, never judging or condemning anybody. And, as our Lord says, let us not pay attention to the small sins of others, but rather ponder on our own in the bitterness of our hearts.”
St. Bonaventure adds: “Beware of ever repeating what you have heard of others, unless it be something very edifying.”
Finally, St. Antony of Padua offers this advice: “Use your ears oftener than your tongue. One often repents of having spoken, and scarcely ever of having been silent.”
source of quotes: Flowers from the Garden of Saint Francis for Every Day of the Year (London: Burns and Oates, 1882).
#speech
Ecce Verbum
The rule of Praesupponendum Saint Ignatius Loyola, Spiritual Exercises Praesupponendum means "Presupposition of Charity", whereby a person assumes the best intentions behind another person's statements. It is the principle of kindness and understanding,…
Uncharitable Conversations
St. Paul writes: “Contend not in words, for it is to no profit, but to the subversion of the hearers.” (2 Tim 2:14)
Concerning this perennial bane of social interaction, Padre Quadrupani remarks: “Disputes, sarcasm, bitter language, and intolerance for dissenting opinions, are the scourges of conversation.” In the following, he addresses the question of what to do when a conversation turns uncharitable.
“If you hear some evil spoken of your neighbor do not immediately become alarmed, as the matter may be true and quite public without your having been aware of it. Should you be quite certain that there is calumny or slander in the report, either because the evil told was false or exaggerated or because it was not publicly known, then, according to the place, the circumstances and your relations towards those present, say with moderation what appears most fitting to justify or excuse your neighbor. Or you may try to turn the conversation into other channels, or simply be content to show your disapprobation by an expressive silence.” He reminds us: “Remember, for the peace of your conscience, that one does not share in the sin of slander unless he give some mark of approbation or encouragement to the person who is guilty of it.”
“As to the guilty, those who may do harm either through the scandal of their example or the wickedness of their doctrines, it is right that they should be shunned and openly denounced. ‘To cry out wolf,’ says Saint Francis de Sales, ‘is kindness to the sheep.'”
“The regard we owe our neighbor does not bind us to a politeness that might be construed as an approval or encouragement of his vicious habits. Hence if it happen that you hear an equivocal jest, a witticism slurring at religion or morals, or anything else that really offends against propriety, be careful not to give, through cowardice and in spite of your conscience, any mark of approbation, were it only by one of those half smiles that are often accorded unwillingly and afterwards regretted. Flattery, even in the eyes of the world, is one of the most debasing of falsehoods. Not even in the presence of the greatest earthly dignitaries, will an honest, upright man sanction with his mouth that which he condemns in his heart. He who sacrifices to vice the rights of truth not only acts unlike a Christian, but renders himself unworthy the name of man.”
🔗source Carlo Giuseppe Quadrupani, Light and Peace: Instructions for Devout Souls, St. Louis: B. Herder, 1898).
#speech
St. Paul writes: “Contend not in words, for it is to no profit, but to the subversion of the hearers.” (2 Tim 2:14)
Concerning this perennial bane of social interaction, Padre Quadrupani remarks: “Disputes, sarcasm, bitter language, and intolerance for dissenting opinions, are the scourges of conversation.” In the following, he addresses the question of what to do when a conversation turns uncharitable.
“If you hear some evil spoken of your neighbor do not immediately become alarmed, as the matter may be true and quite public without your having been aware of it. Should you be quite certain that there is calumny or slander in the report, either because the evil told was false or exaggerated or because it was not publicly known, then, according to the place, the circumstances and your relations towards those present, say with moderation what appears most fitting to justify or excuse your neighbor. Or you may try to turn the conversation into other channels, or simply be content to show your disapprobation by an expressive silence.” He reminds us: “Remember, for the peace of your conscience, that one does not share in the sin of slander unless he give some mark of approbation or encouragement to the person who is guilty of it.”
“As to the guilty, those who may do harm either through the scandal of their example or the wickedness of their doctrines, it is right that they should be shunned and openly denounced. ‘To cry out wolf,’ says Saint Francis de Sales, ‘is kindness to the sheep.'”
“The regard we owe our neighbor does not bind us to a politeness that might be construed as an approval or encouragement of his vicious habits. Hence if it happen that you hear an equivocal jest, a witticism slurring at religion or morals, or anything else that really offends against propriety, be careful not to give, through cowardice and in spite of your conscience, any mark of approbation, were it only by one of those half smiles that are often accorded unwillingly and afterwards regretted. Flattery, even in the eyes of the world, is one of the most debasing of falsehoods. Not even in the presence of the greatest earthly dignitaries, will an honest, upright man sanction with his mouth that which he condemns in his heart. He who sacrifices to vice the rights of truth not only acts unlike a Christian, but renders himself unworthy the name of man.”
🔗source Carlo Giuseppe Quadrupani, Light and Peace: Instructions for Devout Souls, St. Louis: B. Herder, 1898).
#speech